Weddings Articles

Cheat Sheet / Updated 05-13-2022

Congratulations — you’re engaged and that should be celebrated! Now it’s time to make it official and plan your perfect wedding day. It’s all about perspective. The big picture in planning a wedding is that at the end of the day, you will be married. That’s what’s most important. Along your journey, there will be bumps in the road. But wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful. Following the simple steps outlined in this Cheat Sheet will ensure a perfect wedding day.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-16-2022

Wedding etiquette rules have relaxed a bit over time, but common sense and basic etiquette are still necessary in every phase of wedding planning — and on the big day itself. Familiarizing yourself with what to do before, during, and after your wedding will help ensure that everyone enjoys all your wedding festivities.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-09-2022

Planning a wedding shouldn’t break the bank — it should be fun, exciting, and worry-free. To plan a budget wedding that looks anything but cheap, make a priority list, cut back on food (the biggest wedding expense), and consider adding some wallet-friendly touches that are also good for the environment.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 02-16-2022

Planning a wedding involves hundreds of decisions, from calculating how much liquor to buy to figuring out how much space and how many servers you need for your reception. You also want to be prepared for any kind of emergency that happens on your wedding day. Fortunately, many new websites and smartphone apps can help you with all aspects of your wedding planning, especially your budget.

Article / Updated 12-02-2021

Engagement and wedding rings come in a huge array of styles and material. When shopping for engagement and wedding rings, many couples go together — or at least pre-shop together so that each person has an idea of the other's taste. When choosing rings, consider your lifestyle and price range, and determine what's most important to you by prioritizing the 4 C's. The stone you choose for an engagement ring can be anything you wish — emerald, sapphire, ruby, or topaz, for example. But the most popular stone is diamond. Selecting a diamond A diamond is the hardest transparent substance known to man, one hundred times harder than ruby or sapphire. This durability, along with its light, has made diamonds an enduring symbol of marriage. They are evaluated and classified by the four C's—cut, color, clarity, and carat weight. Cut A diamond's cut and proportion determine its brilliance and fire, making the cut perhaps the most important factor in a diamond's beauty. Each facet acts as a light-dispersing mirror, so more facets generally mean greater beauty. A modern, round-brilliant-cut diamond has 58 facets, which makes it more brilliant than other shapes. Don't confuse cut with shape. Various shapes — oval, pear, round brilliant, emerald, baguette, and marquise — are shown here: Diamond shapes (not to be confused with the cut). Color The Gemological Institute of America (GIA) grades color starting with the letter D (colorless) through the letter Z (progressively more yellow). In nature, diamonds occur in virtually every color and shade: blue, pink, lavender, yellow, green, red and even black. Colored diamonds are increasingly popular for engagement rings, and some rare colors are quite pricey. Clarity Internal imperfections, such as small cracks, whitish dots or dark spots, are called inclusions. External flaws are blemishes. Generally speaking, the fewer the inclusions and blemishes, the clearer and more brilliant the diamond, the rarer it is, and the more it's worth. The GIA classifies diamonds and their flaws into the following categories: FL: Flawless, meaning without any surface characteristics or internal imperfections. Extremely rare. IF: Internally flawless with only minor external blemishes that a jeweler can polish away. An internally flawless (IF) diamond. VVS1 and VVS2: Very, very small inclusions that are difficult for a qualified observer to detect. VVS1 diamond with a very, very small inclusion. VVS2 diamond with very, very small inclusions. VS1 and VS2: Very small inclusions visible only under magnification. A VS1 diamond with very small inclusions. A VS2 diamond with very small inclusions. SI1 and SI2: Small inclusions that are readily apparent under magnification but not to the naked eye. SI1 diamonds have small inclusions seen with magnification. SI2 diamonds have inclusions spotted easily under magnification. I1, I2, and I3: Imperfect grades in which the flaws may or may not be visible to the naked eye. Much lower in price and generally don't appreciate in value. Imperfect diamond grades, like the I1 here, have flaws that might be visible without magnification. Carat weight Gemologists measure the size of diamonds in terms of weight, specifically in carats. A carat contains 100 points. If a jeweler says a stone weights 25 points, it's 1/4 carat. While size still matters, it is almost meaningless outside the context of cut, clarity, and color. A large stone that is dull, flawed, or improperly cut is worth less money than a perfect little diamond. Selecting a setting and metal for an engagement ring Choosing the right setting for a diamond is like choosing the right frame for a picture. Classic settings include the prong-less bezel, elaborate carved scroll, clean-looking channel, decorative cluster, flush-lying gypsy, expensive invisible, glittery pavé, traditional prong, light-reflecting silver cups, singular solitaire, floating tension, and classic six-pronged. The metal of your ring should flatter your skin tone and the color of your stone. Platinum is the most expensive, but beautiful, and both hard and resilient. Whatever metal you choose, you may have the ring designed with a variety of finishes, patterns, or edgings. Stretching your diamond dollar Here are a few tips to help make the most of your ring-shopping budget: Go under-size If you're able to find an "under-size" diamond, which is a diamond that weighs just under a cut-off weight (for example, 0.95 carats instead of 1 carat; 0.45 carats instead of half a carat), you can save substantial sums of money for a diamond that looks, to the naked eye, essentially the same as a diamond that hits the larger cut-off weight. Go for clarity and color that looks clean to the naked eye When it comes to white (non-fancy) diamonds, most consumers can't tell the difference between diamonds on the very high end of the clarity scale (such as VVS1) and those lower on the scale, which contain very slight or slight inclusions (VS1 or SI1). In the case of many SI1 diamonds, for example, the flaws are only visible under 10X magnification, although the price difference between a VVS1 and an SI1 diamond is considerable. The same advice applies to a diamond's Color Grade. A "D" or "F" diamond (colorless) can easily cost double the price of an "I" (near-colorless) diamond of the same cut, although most people can't tell the difference between colorless and near-colorless diamonds. Consider buying a near-colorless diamond to get the most from your budget. Good polish is good enough When it comes to a diamond's polish, a "good" grade is good enough in most cases. Most consumers can't tell the difference between a diamond with "good" and the more-expensive "excellent" polish Choose white gold instead of platinum Although platinum is a preferred ring metal, it is also the most expensive of the precious metals. White gold, on the other hand, is an excellent and affordable alternative to platinum and a great choice for the budget-conscious shopper. White gold has a stunning appearance and a white/gray patina that resembles platinum. White gold is also very durable, has a high scratch resistance factor, and does an excellent job of drawing attention to a diamond's brilliance. Buy online When purchasing an engagement ring, you can do so in a brick-and-mortar store, or you can purchase your ring online. Some people prefer to interact with a salesperson face-to-face, which you can do when shopping in a store. Making your purchase through an online retailer, though, has its own benefits, including saving what could be quite a bit of money and having a pressure-free purchase experience: Online retailers can save you 30–50 percent off the prices of traditional retailers. The tremendous selection at online retailers can help you find exactly what you want and stay within your budget. Buying online allows you to be in the driver's seat — you can take your time and educate yourself about your diamond-buying options; you can avoid being persuaded by commissioned sales associates and instead can feel confident that your decision is the right one for you. Buying online is extremely convenient — some online retailers offer customer service 24/7 so you can shop wherever you want, whenever you want.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

The term personal flowers refers not only to the bride's bouquet and groom's boutonniere, but also to all the flowers worn or carried by attendants, family members, or others you wish to honor. Men often have preferences, some quite specific, for the boutonniere they sport on their wedding day. For brides, though, the flowers they carry as they walk towards married life are the ultimate — and very visible — accompaniment to their wedding dress. Specify exactly where you want the florist to deliver your personal flowers and that you want them all labeled to avoid even the slightest chance that an usher may try to pin the flower girl's posy to his lapel. Bride and attendants At the beginning of the twentieth century, brides and bridesmaids carried such elaborate bouquets that the women practically needed a wheelbarrow to transport them down the aisle. Bouquets can be striking but never distracting; you want all eyes on the carrier, not on her bouquet. As an accessory, the bouquet should complement the dress as well as the size and shape of the wearer. Bridesmaids' bouquets need not be dwarf versions of the bride's, but can be mini works of art in themselves. Antique lace, organza, or wired ribbon wrapped around the stems finish a bouquet beautifully, but with some cost. One of our favorite looks is having each bridesmaid carry a different vibrantly colored bouquet finished with matching ribbon streamers. For years, people considered only one styleof bouquet to be appropriate for formal weddings: all white roses, stephanotis, and lily of the valley. This idea is no longer the case. At even extremely formal ceremonies, brides now carry a variety of flowers, colors, and shapes. Flowers, however dazzling and pure, can cause you grief if they aren't prepared with meticulous care. Before handing them to attendants, ask someone to check them to make sure they're dry and that any stamens that might stain dresses have been removed. Hold your bouquet by placing your elbows at your hipbones and grasping the stems or handle with both hands in front of your belly button. You should be able to do this while linking your arm with one person, unless you choose a pageant or presentation bouquet, which you must cradle in both arms. In other words, who is walking you down the aisle and how you walk together affects the kind of bouquet you can comfortably carry. See Figure 1 for some examples of bouquet types. Figure 1: A bouquet's shape and style are as important as the kind of flowers it contains. Biedermeier: Tightly composed concentric circles of individual colors, wired into a lace collar or other holder. Cascade or shower: Classic, elaborate shape with ivy and long-stemmed flowers that are wired or pulled out to droop gracefully in a waterfall effect. Composite: A flower constructed of hundreds of real petals wired together to look like one enormous flower. Crescent: Composed of one full flower and a flowering stem, often orchids, wired together to form a slender handle that you can hold in one hand. Designed as either a full crescent, a half circle with a central flower and blossoms emanating from two sides, or as a semicrescent, which has only one trailing stem. Nosegays: Round bouquets (16 or 18 inches in diameter) composed of flowers, greenery, and occasionally sprigs of herbs, all wired or tied together. Posies: Smaller versions of nosegays. Ribbons and silk flowers are often integrated into them. Presentation: The pageant bouquet — long-stemmed flowers cradled in your arms. Tossing: A bouquet used for tossing so you can save the actual wedding bouquet for posterity. No need to duplicate the original; the tossing bouquet can be entirely different. Tussy mussy: From the Victorian era, a posy in a small metal hand-held vase. Some have attached ring chains for easy carrying. Instead of a bouquet, consider using fewer flowers in these innovative ways: An heirloom prayer book accessorized with flowers A single long-stemmed flower such as a calla lily, rose, or Casablanca lily A wreath of flowers worn in the hair A hat adorned with fresh flowers A comb, barrette, or headband covered in lace, ribbon, and flowers A border of flowers on your veil or hem of your dress Mothers, stepmothers, fathers' girlfriends, and others Say "corsage" and many women think "blue hair," not to mention pinholes in their fancy silk frock. Alternatives exist, including tussy mussies (ornate Victorian bouquet holders), flowers pinned to a handbag, or a floral bracelet, much like a minigarland — not to be confused with wrist corsages, which can be as dowdy as the pinned version. Some florists now use magnets to hold corsages in place on a dress. Ask your florist for this option if a pinned-on corsage is a must-have. Grooms, ushers, stepfathers, mothers' boyfriends, and others No longer the standard-issue white senior-prom carnation, the groom's boutonniere may be the same as one of the flowers in the bride's bouquet — as if plucked from there. The ones he chooses for his ushers and other gentlemen he wants to honor should reflect his personal style and be appropriate for their outfits. These flowers should neither brown around the edges nor wilt in the heat and should be hardy enough to withstand hours of hugs. A few replacements for trite lapel pins: Cornflowers Acorns Vibrant-colored roses set with a sprig of herbs Berries backed by a galax leaf Variegated ivy, fern, and pine A stem of hydrangea Also, having the stems wrapped with spiffy ribbon in an unexpected color or design can turn a mundane boutonniere into something dapper. Men should wear boutonnieres on their left side and pin them on the underside of the lapel so that no part of the pin shows. Order extra boutonnieres because they're relatively inexpensive and one or two may not survive ham-fisted attempts at pinning or may get crushed by well-wishers. Besides, it's good to have extras for any forgotten menfolk. Little touches for little people When dealing with flower children (or any children, for that matter), keep accessories in proportion to the child's size. You don't want your flower girl to look like an ungainly flowering plant moving down the aisle. Some simple floral alternatives to the traditional flower basket include Circlet: A ribbon or twig band accented with blossoms and worn on girls' heads. Garland: Birch vines covered with smilax and flowers and carried in tandem by two or three very young children. This arrangement looks adorable and also keeps them together. Hoop: Made of vine strung with flowers and carried like a tambourine. Pomander: AStyrofoam ball, covered in lace and tulle and trimmed with floral heads, which hangs on the wrist (see Figure 1). Fresh petals can be slippery. If you wish to follow children strewing petals from baskets, show them how to sprinkle them, alternating sides of the path rather than straight down the danger zone. The ring bearer's main accessory is the ring pillow, which may be sewn of luxurious fabrics such as satin, silk, velvet, or organza. These pillows are sometimes embroidered or trimmed with silk, natural flowers, or ornate tassels. The rings are tied on with attached ribbons. As special as the pillow is, the ring bearer may be more interested in wearing a boutonniere identical to that of the ushers. The ring pillow should never have the real rings on it. To protect the child's ego, attach fake rings and have the best man make a display of untying them. The real rings are, of course, safe with the best man and maid of honor.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

The wedding cake is usually displayed from the beginning of the reception, so choose a filling and icing that can hold up for the duration. If you're adding special lighting to the room, add a spotlight for the cake table. Otherwise, park it somewhere well lit and in full sight of the guests, but off the dance floor, or it might wind up on the floor during the first fast dance. Keep in mind the time of year and the length of time the cake will be on display so it doesn't begin collapsing by the time it's cut. Cake table secrets The base of the cake determines the size of the table. A huge, round table makes even the stateliest cake look minuscule. Make sure that the table is sturdy and is either on wheels or light enough with the cake for two waiters to carry it. To elaborately embellish the table, wrap picture wire (as if tying a package) around the tabletop, as shown in Figure 1. After the tables are covered, you can attach swags, garlands, and sprays with safety pins to the wires in the appropriate places. Layer sheets and/or tulle to give the tablecloth fullness and make it look more elegant. Figure 1:Make sure your cake table is steady and in proportion to the cake before you decorate it. Ask the bakery what kind of serving piece they deliver the cake on. Some provide a flat silver tray; others just deliver it on a plain piece of baker's cardboard that you'll need to cover. A sweet touch that also makes use of those expensive bridesmaid bouquets after the ceremony is to have the maitre d' or wedding consultant discreetly relieve the bridesmaids of their bouquets and arrange them around the cake with a studied casualness. The bridesmaids, incidentally, are usually grateful, being at a loss for how to balance the bouquets with drinks, hors d'oeuvres, and the arm of their significant other. Arrange to have the cake delivered at least two hours before the reception begins. Cakes are rarely transported fully assembled. Make sure that you clarify specifically who from the bakery is delivering and setting it up. Tell your caterer of the delivery time so the cake table can be dressed and ready and so the delivery person doesn't just leave the cake in its box and disappear. Cutting the cake In the past, the cake ceremony was such an anticlimax that brides and grooms used it as an opportunity to act out some thinly disguised aggression by shoving cake in each other's faces. Thankfully, this (ahem) charming tradition has gone by the wayside and the cake cutting has become a sentimental and romantic moment. Traditionally, the first shared piece symbolizes the couple's first meal as husband and wife. The cake cutting also used to signal the end of the wedding, as the bride and groom would then change and be off. More often now, the cutting is a natural segue after which people who want to leave may do so, but the newlyweds and the majority of their guests stay and take to the dance floor. You can gracefully signal that cake cutting is imminent with a reprise of the first-dance music. The bride and/or groom often make their toast at this time, presenting a perfect photo opportunity. After the cutting and toasts are completed, the band plays quietly in the background until the bride and groom finish exchanging the first bites, whereupon the music swells into a full-fledged dance number. When you create your wedding day schedule, put in bold type: "Entire band should be ready to play immediately after cake cutting." Many bands seem to think this is the perfect time for a break. Just the opposite — if the music ebbs now, your party is over. The headwaiter should show you where to make the first cut, particularly if the cake has a dummy layer (a fake bottom layer that serves as support for the cake). To symbolize the couples' shared life together, the groom places his right hand over the bride's, which holds the knife. Together they cut a small piece from the back of the bottom tier. Traditionally, the groom feeds the bride first, a small mouthful easily washed down by a sip of champagne. Then the bride feeds the groom. Then, if they're feeling particularly nice, the bride and groom serve a piece to their new in-laws. Yes, some couples find this ceremony antiquated and would rather skip it. Just realize, however, that guests do expect to see you cut your cake. They feel cheated if they don't. Some even believe the old superstition that the bride must cut the first piece or risk being childless. That said, cut the cake, eat your pieces, put the plate down, and move away. After the photos, the banquet directors should have the cake taken into the kitchen to be cut quickly and efficiently without showing the guests the mess this work of art becomes during slicing. Some places charge a cake-cutting fee — usually $1 a slice — allegedly to cover the cost of the "setup" (plates and forks). If you strongly feel that this charge is inappropriate, then you should attempt to expunge this clause from your contract. If the idea of saving the top tier of the cake for future consumption strikes your fancy, take precautions to make the cake as palatable as possible one year later — no mold, freezer burn, or other delightful taste treats. Bring a properly sized box, lots of wax paper, bubble wrap, and an airtight plastic bag. Leave explicit instructions for airtight wrapping (freeze the cake first for a few hours before it's wrapped) and charge someone — a cryogenics specialist perhaps — with taking this precious cargo home and popping it into the freezer right away. Make arrangements to have it transported to your freezer upon your return from the honeymoon. In lieu of this rather complicated procedure, when ordering your wedding cake, you might cleverly put in an order for a small cake of the same flavor to be scheduled for baking and pickup on your first-year anniversary.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

Food and alcohol represent the biggest expense for most weddings. So it makes sense to cut back on that expense if you’re planning a budget wedding. Broaden your idea of what a stylish and elegant wedding reception looks like and prepare to save. Your guests will eat to their heart’s content, but you won’t break the bank when you host one of these receptions: Brunch: Brunch fare can cost less than half — even as little as a third — of a full dinner menu. Consider providing a variety of specialty buffets, such as a fruit bar or an omelet station. Garden parties: No one expects you to provide a full meal, so go all out on fancy appetizers. Serve a signature cocktail in lieu of a full bar. Afternoon tea: Pull out all the stops for a traditional British affair and limit alcohol to Champagne for toasts. Dessert reception: If you have a sweet tooth, this is the best way to indulge it! Serve nothing but sweets — wedding cake, petit fours, cheesecake, sundaes, and a chocolate fountain. Cocktail reception: Alcohol will consume the biggest part of your budget with this type of reception, but you save by serving appetizers and dessert instead of a full meal.

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

Green is the new white — at least when it comes to eco-friendly weddings. Even better, going green can save you money. That’s always a plus if you’re planning a budget wedding. Even though some green wedding products and services are pricier than the traditional ones, others cost far less than you’d expect. The following list tells you how to save some green on your green wedding: Eliminate paper. Bypass printed invitations, response cards, and maps in favor of Web-based versions. Provide maps and driving directions on your wedding Web site, issue save-the-date info and invitations via e-mail, and keep track of your guest count and meal requests with Web-based forms. Choose a green dress. To find an inexpensive dress that’s environmentally friendly, shop vintage stores, peruse eBay, or consider renting your gown. Think locally. Using caterers and florists who work with local producers can save you money, and it reduces the environmental impact of your wedding by cutting down on transportation emissions. Go for green gold. For more eco-friendly (and potentially more budget-friendly) wedding rings, look in pawn shops and at estate auctions for vintage rings that can be updated. Or collect your unused gold jewelry and hire a jeweler to melt it down and make your wedding bands out of it. Opt for reusable decorations. Rent potted plants or silk flower arrangements that can be used again. Or pot your own plants or flowers and incorporate them into your new home after the honeymoon — you’ve just cut down on your interior decorating budget!

Article / Updated 03-26-2016

If you’re planning your wedding on a budget, prioritizing is a must. Without a priority list, you’re likely to overspend — often before you even realize you’re going over your budget. To keep your wedding finances on track, sit down with your fiancé(e) and compare your lists of priorities for the big day. If you aren’t sure how to come up with a priority list, start by jotting down what you liked and disliked about other weddings you’ve attended. Then think about the wedding traditions you’re familiar with and decide whether you want to follow them. Don’t worry about the associated costs just yet. When you compare your list with your fiancé(e)’s priorities, talk about how each item fits into your overall budget. Then you can decide together whether the expense of getting married in a dream location is worth giving up the acres of orchids you always imagined seeing at your ceremony. After you and your intended identify what you really want for your wedding, write your priorities on a sheet of paper so you can refer to them when you’re making wedding decisions. You may even want to carry the list in your wallet as a reminder when you’re interviewing vendors.