Alexithymia is a word used to describe people who appear to lack emotions — including anger. Alexithymia is thought to be a fairly stable personality trait but isn't a formal, psychological diagnosis in and of itself. Alexithymics tend to
Have difficulty identifying different types of feelings
Appear stiff and wooden in relating to others
Lack emotional awareness
Lack enjoyment
Have trouble distinguishing between emotions and bodily feelings
Appear overly logical when it comes to decision making
Lack sympathy for others
Appear perplexed by other people's emotions
Be unmoved by art, literature, and music
Have few, if any, emotional memories (for example, memories of childhood)
Don't disconnect from your feelings to manage your anger. You want to have emotions but you want to be in control of those emotions. You want to let anger move you to write a letter to the editor in your local newspaper about some social injustice. You want your anger to move you to stand up for yourself when your talents are being exploited in the workplace.
Anger that says to your spouse, "Hey, something is not working here" is good for a marriage. But if your anger only moves you to hurt others — or yourself — then you definitely have a problem. Think of anger as a tool that can help you throughout life if you know how to use it.
