How to Tell Whether Your Cat Is Feline Officer Material

Kittens For Dummies

While we wish we lived in a world with kitty cops, sadly, this blog is only an April Fool's Day dream from your friendly Dummies.com team.

Ever wonder if your cat has the right stuff to make it as a member of the force? Police work requires a certain temperament from its kitty cops that may not be present in all cats. Look for these telltale signs of blue blood in your feline pal.

You may have to take your cat's uniform to a tailor for alterations.
© Shutterstock / Viktoriya5555

Stealthiness

Especially important in detective work, this skill is useful for tailing a suspect, whether or not you’ve got a tail. But if your cat is more gawky than graceful, he may not be a good fit. Try hiding in a pantry or behind an almost-closed door with a tasty treat in hand. Does your cat place her paw precisely around the door frame, or does she claw at the door with an ungodly yowl?

Athleticism

The trope of the overweight officer with a donut in hand is true of some cops. But most members of the force must undergo rigorous training to stay in the field. Otherwise, how are they supposed to apprehend cat burglars? If your kitty’s gut shows that he’s had one too many salmon snaps, he may be more suited to a cat nap.

Moral uprightness

If you’ve ever watched police films like L.A. Confidential or Serpico, you’re aware that crooked cops exist. Still, in a perfect world, we’d love to know that the folks hired to keep us safe have our best interests at heart. Let’s be honest — this may be the hardest litmus test for your cat to pass. Ask yourself honestly: If you had a serious accident at home, would your cat call 9-1-1, or would she use the opportune time to jump on the counter and devour your lunch? If you think the latter, unfortunately, your cat is probably not destined for glory.