Joseph Kraynak

Cheat Sheet / Updated 11-29-2022

Downsizing, that is decluttering and simplifying your life, can bring great rewards to you and your family, including financially and emotionally. If you're not sure whether downsizing is right for you, use the list of pros and cons to help you decide. And, if moving is part of your plan, check out the list of location factors to consider.

Article / Updated 03-30-2022

When renovating a property that you intend to flip, don't get carried away. Some home flippers hire top-of-the-scale contractors and insist on the highest-quality building materials from the nearest suppliers. To help you avoid that trap, here are 11 secrets that can slash your cash outlays and boost your bottom line. Get free advice and planning tools. You don't have to hire a professional interior designer to draw up plans for remodeling a kitchen or bathroom. Most home-improvement stores have their own designers on staff to assist you. If you purchase the materials from the store, the store frequently throws in the design consultation for free. And who can say no to free? You can often find additional planning tools and calculators online. Large home-improvement stores and manufacturers typically feature cost estimators, material lists, and installation instructions and tips on their websites. For some excellent online resources for planning your projects, check out Lowe's, Home Depot, and Bob Vila Design Tools. Hire moonlighters. Large construction companies often have large overhead costs, so they have to charge more for their work. A roofing company, for example, needs to purchase and maintain its trucks, pay rent on office space, and cover payroll expenses and insurance for its workers. To earn an extra buck on the side, the employees of many of these companies moonlight, which means they provide the same high-quality service on the side for a fraction of the cost. You can often locate prospective moonlighters by visiting worksites in your neighborhood. Ask to see the boss, and if he's not around, pitch your proposal to the workers. If the boss is around, you can ask him for an estimate without blowing your cover. Hiring moonlighters is a great idea, but make sure they have health insurance with accident coverage. If your workers don't have proper insurance and one of them gets hurt working on your house, your cost savings could quickly be sapped away by losses. If the moonlighters don't have insurance, buy an insurance policy that includes accident coverage for workers. Hire students over the summer. When school's out, college and high-school students flock to area businesses to secure summer employment, and they're often turned away because so many people are looking for jobs. That's where you come in. Post an ad in the local newspaper or contact high schools and colleges in your area to let them know you're looking for summer laborers. Students are eager and well-qualified to perform the following renovation chores: Mowing, weeding, trimming bushes and trees, and planting flowers Patching and sealing driveways and walks De-cluttering garages, basements, and attics Vacuuming, window washing, and other cleaning Demolishing old storage sheds Tearing out old carpeting Patching and painting inside and out Refinishing decks Buy overstocked or discontinued building materials. When you wander the aisles at your local hardware or building-supply store, find what you want and then ask about any overstocked or discontinued materials that are similar in appearance. Talk to the manager, who most likely wants to clear the old, overstocked items from inventory to make room for the new merchandise that's in greater demand. You can often purchase overstocked or discontinued merchandise for a fraction of the cost. Buy builder's-grade materials. When shopping for building materials, ask the salesperson to direct you to the builder's-grade materials — the more affordable options, such as prefab cabinets and low-grade carpeting. If installed and maintained properly, these materials are perfectly suitable for most markets. If you're flipping on the ritzy side of town, however, you may need to buy the good stuff. Gauge your selection of materials by the visibility and importance of the rooms. Consider using higher-quality materials for the kitchen, main bathroom, and master bedroom and a lesser quality for the other bedrooms and the second and third bathrooms. Use remnant material to trim your costs. Carpeting stores, countertop manufacturers, and other suppliers often have remnants in the back that may be sufficient for completing small jobs. Picky customers often return items that have tiny scratches or dents as well as materials that they cut a little too short. These gently used materials may be just what you need, and you can pick them up for pennies on the dollar. Buy time-saving power tools. When you hire a contractor, you indirectly pay for the tools that make the job much easier. When you rent a tool, you have to return it. When you buy your own tools, however, you have them for as long as they work, and you can spread the cost over several flips. If you're a do-it-yourselfer, buy the tools that make it easier for you to do a professional job. In addition to the standard hammers, pliers, wrenches, screwdrivers, tape measures, paint scrapers, and paintbrushes, almost every house flipper can simplify do-it-yourself jobs with the following power tools: Heat gun for stripping wallpaper and paint Power washer to clean everything from decks to siding Power roller for painting inside walls and ceilings Cordless drill with a well-stocked drill-bit case Screw gun with Phillips and flat-head screw bits Circular saw for decks and other woodworking projects Reciprocating saw for cutting anything you can't cut with a circular saw Nail gun for quick and easy single-handed nail driving Vibrating sander, or belt sander, for sanding out scratches and gouges in wood surfaces Charge purchases on a rewards-back credit card. Credit-card companies offer some pretty sweet deals to reward customers for using their cards, and as long as you pay the balance in full when you receive the bill, you're not socked with high interest charges. If your building supplier offers its own credit card, you may get a discount on all purchases. If not, shop around for other cards. Companies offer everything from cash-back deals to frequent-flyer miles, free merchandise, free groceries, 0 percent interest for a specific period of time, and other attractive benefits. Take full advantage of these perks. Schedule work off-season. During the off-season, larger companies have to keep their employees busy in order to pay them and finance their benefits. Use this as a bargaining chip when negotiating the cost of repairs and renovations. However, don't delay a project that needs to be done just to save a few bucks — holding costs (the cost of maintaining a flip) can outstrip any savings. You reap two additional benefits by scheduling work off-season. The contractor is more likely to complete the job on schedule and is generally more responsive when you need her services in season. Pool your projects. Most skilled laborers charge a minimum for just showing up. You pay for their time and travel expenses no matter how small the job. To save money, pool your projects. You can draw up a list of projects for the plumber, a list for the carpenter, and another list for the electrician. Have them complete all the projects in one trip. Better yet, if you have several houses going at one time, ask the contractor whether she'll consider giving you a discount if you guarantee that she can work on all your properties. Talk with your neighbors. If they're having the same work done on their homes, you may be able to negotiate a better price for multiple jobs. Rent a large Dumpster (a.k.a. skip) for all the tear-out and construction debris so all your contractors have one place to dump rubbish from your flip. By supplying the Dumpster, you can tell your contractors to remove the cost of waste removal from their estimates.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-30-2022

"Flipping houses" sounds as easy as 1-2-3: 1) Buy a house significantly below market value, 2) fix it up, and 3) sell it. However, when you actually try to flip a house, you soon realize that it's tougher than it sounds. The beginner faces several hurdles, not the least of which is tracking down properties with potential and buying them for cheap. This Cheat Sheet brings you up to speed in a hurry on house flipping basics and helps you clear the most common hurdles.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 03-01-2022

Foreclosure investing is complicated and risky. I’ve seen individual investors lose tens of thousands of dollars at a single auction simply because they had no idea what they were doing. You’re smart to study up on the process before putting any money on the line. This Cheat Sheet will get you up to speed in a hurry on foreclosure investing and help you steer clear of some of the major pitfalls. However, I strongly encourage you to study up on the foreclosure process in the location (state and county) where you choose to invest, and hire an attorney with foreclosure experience to cover your back, at least for your first few investment properties.

Cheat Sheet / Updated 02-24-2022

The accounting field covers a lot of ground, from setting up accounts and producing financial reports to budgeting for a business and preventing and detecting fraud. Quickly get up to speed on the basics with tips for controlling cash in a business, an overview of cash flow and profit, quick access to essential cost-accounting formulas, and the red flags of financial statement fraud.

Article / Updated 04-20-2021

Osteichthyes (pronounced ah-stee-ick-thees) is a class of about 28,000 fish characterized (in most forms) by a bony skeleton, scales (some without), paired fins, a single pair of gill openings supported by bony gill arches each covered by an operculum, jaws, a mouth with many teeth, a swim bladder (air-filled sack) for buoyancy, paired nostrils, and external fertilization of eggs. Bony fish are generally broken down into two groups: Ray-finned fish: Ray-finned fish have fins supported by spines; the fins are moved by muscles in the body of the fish that do not extend into the fins. They (usually) have a pair of pectoral fins and a pair of pelvic fins, along with dorsal, anal, and caudal fins, and most look like, well, a fish — their bodies are oval-ish and tapered at each end. They breathe primarily through gills. And they have a lateral line — a row of organs that sense changes in water pressure, movement, and vibrations (kind of like the sensitive hairs in our inner ears) which helps them find prey and not become prey themselves. Lobe-finned fish: Lobe-finned fish have rounded fins (shaped more like your earlobes), which are supported by muscles and articulated bones (bones that meet to form joints). In other words, their fins are more like hands than typical fish fins, though the end of each fin has thin, bony structures that fan out from the core of the fin. These fins are thought to be the precursors of amphibian legs and feet. Lobe-finned fish also have two dorsal fins (instead of one), and they have both gills and lungs (though they’re not functional in certain species), which enables some of them to breathe on land or under water. As your mother told you when you experienced your first heartbreak, there’s always more fish in the sea. With bony fish, that means 28,000 species and counting. We can’t possibly cover them all, so we kept this discussion brief by describing the two groups (ray-finned and lobe-finned) and highlighting the common, the cool, and the weird in each group. Ray finned Actinopterygii (ray-finned fish) are, by far, the largest and most diverse group of bony fish. They include anchovies, angelfish, barracuda, catfish, cod, eels, flounder, flying fish, frogfish, gars, grouper, grunt, halibut, herring, hogfish, jacks, lionfish, mackerel, marlin, minnows, mullet, needlefish, perch, piranha, pompano, porgy, sailfish, sardines, sea bass, sea trout, seahorses, shad, sheepshead, snappers, snook, sole, sturgeon, swordfish, tarpon, triggerfish, toothfish, tuna . . . we could go on but we think you get the idea. But let’s look at some notable members of the group. Imagine an award show with categories for the smallest, biggest, fastest, and so on: Smallest: Stout infantfish are barely as long as the width of a pencil — females max out at about 8.4 millimeters long, while males grow to only 7 millimeters. They’re also the smallest and lightest of all known vertebrates. If you ordered a pound of stout infantfish from the menu, you’d get a plate of roughly 500,000 fish! Largest: The sunfish (Mola Mola) can grow to be over 2,268 kilograms (5,000 pounds). They live in warm water and look like a swimming fish head that has been smushed. Fastest: The black marlin has been clocked at a maximum speed of about 129 kilometers per hour (about 80 mph). Longest: The giant oarfish is a long serpent-looking pelagic fish up to eight meters (26 feet) long. They’re silver with a red mohawk looking fin. They cherish their privacy and are rarely seen alive. Coolest: The Antarctic icefish lacks hemoglobin in its blood, making it clear and less susceptible to freezing, sort of like anti-freeze, which is useful for any fish living in the frigid waters off Antarctica. Due to this lack of hemoglobin, they have huge hearts and almost four times the amount of blood as other fish. Weirdest couple: Female anglerfish have it going on! Living in the dark, deep ocean, these ladies have a dangling dorsal fin tipped with luminescent skin, which functions as a fishing rod protruding from the center of their head ending in a glow-in-the-dark lure just in front of their huge mouth full of teeth. And she has all the guys attached at the hip, seriously. Male anglerfish are usually much smaller than the females. When a male finds one of these lovely ladies, he attaches himself to her as a permanent parasite. After a while, he loses his eyes and all his organs except his testes, physically fusing his body with hers. Talk about a Stage 4 clinger! Females can carry around multiple mates. Cutest: Seahorses get by on their looks. Remember when we said most ray-finned fish look like fish? Well, seahorses are one of those exceptions. They swim around upright with what looks like a little armored body and quick moving fins. They have a tubular snout used for eating plankton and fish larvae. And it’s the male seahorses that carry around the fertilized eggs in a special pouch until they hatch — how adorable is that?! Father of the year: Speaking of caring fathers, the jawfish is a paternal mouthbrooder, meaning he holds the fertilized eggs in his mouth till they hatch (see the following figure). Every so often, he spits them out, a practice called churning, which keeps the eggs aerated, hydrated, and clean, thereby increasing the chances that more will hatch. All the while, he doesn’t eat a thing. Fortunately for him, the incubation period for the eggs is only five to seven days. Friendliest: Yep, fish can be friendly, and a perfect example is the grouper. Because of their large size (the goliath grouper can grow to be almost 800 pounds), these fish are not really scared of anything and are naturally curious. We have had many encounters with grouper fish over the years, and honestly, they are the Golden Retrievers of the sea. The grouper in the following figure actually took Ashlan on a tour of his home, following her along her entire dive and nudging her when she wasn’t paying him enough attention. Longest living: Orange roughy, brightly colored and slow moving, can live up to 200 years — that is, unless they’re eaten (by us). The problem with eating orange roughy is that they don’t reach sexual maturity until the age of 20, so they’re exceedingly susceptible to over-fishing, and they’re caught using the super destructive fishing method of bottom trawling. If you need another reason not to eat them, they’re often full of heavy metals, such as mercury, because they live a long time and bio-magnify toxins into their tissue. So next time you are at a restaurant and they offer you orange roughy as a special, just say no and feel free to tell the waiter (and the chef) why. Honestly, most people, even in restaurants, don’t know how bad and destructive catching some of these fish is. A little schooling goes a long way. Lobe-finned Sarcopterygii (lobe-finned fish) are a group of only eight living species with lobe-shaped fins, two dorsal fins, gills, and lungs (which aren’t functional in certain species). They’re broken down into two classes — coelacanths and lungfish. Coelacanths Thought to have gone extinct 66 million years ago with the dinos, a coelacanth was spotted at a fish market in 1938. Two extant (living) species are now recognized — the West Indian Ocean coelacanth and Indonesian coelacanth. Referred to as a living fossil, many scientists see them as a possible link between sea creatures and four-legged land animals, such as salamanders, newts, and lizards. Living as deep as 2,000 feet, these carnivorous fish sleep in caves during the day and hunt for prey (mostly octopus, squid, and cuttlefish) at night. They grow to be about 6 feet long and weigh up to about 200 pounds. In 2010, Laurent Ballesta led a confidential Gombessa expedition in Jesser Canyon, Sodwana Bay, South Africa, to capture the very first pictures of the coelacanth taken by a diver (–120 meters). This was possible thanks to the South African diver Peter Timm, who was the first to face the mythical fish locally named Gombessa. Discover more in the book, Gombessa, Meeting with the Coelacanth. Coelacanths have lungs during their embryonic development that stop developing as the fish grows and are barely noticeable (and non-functioning) in adults. They also have a rostral organ in their snout that’s part of an electro-sensory system and a hinged skull that enables the back of the skull to tilt up to enlarge the opening of the mouth. Lungfish As their name implies, lungfish can breathe air. Yep, they have either one or two lungs (depending on the species) to extract oxygen from the air, and they also have gills to extract oxygen from water. These are freshwater fish that live in rivers and lakes in Australia, Africa, and South America. And they’re big — most species growing up to 1.2 to 2.1 meters (4 to 7 feet) long. Lungfish have horrible eye sight, but their great sense of smell, lateral lines, and sensitive touch (with their pectoral and pelvic fins) make up for it. African lungfish can also go into a deep sleep (estivation) for up to two years — a slimy sleeping beauty.

Article / Updated 04-20-2021

Elasmobranchii (pronounced ee-laz-mo-brank-ee-ee) are a familiar subclass of fish that includes some of the most misunderstood and maligned creatures in the world—sharks, skates, and rays. They’re characterized by a rigid dorsal fin (the top fin) and have four to seven pairs of gill slits to breathe. They’re all carnivorous, feeding on everything from large marine mammals to small crustaceans, and they lack a swim bladder, equipped instead with an oily liver to maintain buoyancy. In contrast to the teeth of most vertebrates, which are locked into sockets in the jaw bones, elasmobranch teeth are attached to the jaw with fleshy tissue. Many species have rows of teeth that continue to be replaced—some may go through as many as tens of thousands of teeth in a lifetime. Selachiia: Sharks Sharks go way back. The first evidence of sharks dates to the Ordovician period 400 to 450 million years ago! Approximately 450 species of fish have the honor of being classified as sharks, and they range in size from about 20 centimeters (eight inches) to 12 meters (40 feet) long. They’re all predators and feed mostly on fish, seals, and whales, but some sharks, such as the whale sharks and megamouth sharks, feed on tiny plankton. Baby sharks are called “pups,” but even before they’re born, they’re not all sweet and cuddly. Some baby sharks eat their brothers and sisters who are growing slower while still inside their mother (talk about sibling rivalry!). Other species of sharks create extra eggs for the growing pups to consume. Both are examples of intrauterine cannibalism. Some scientists believe this practice is “survival of the fittest” to keep the species strong. The smallest of sharks is the dwarf lantern shark. Lantern sharks, as their name implies, are bioluminescent—able to produce their own light, which they use to ward off predators, blend in with the lighter background above them, and communicate when swimming in schools. On the other end of the size spectrum is the whale shark, which can grow as long as 40 feet and weigh up to 40 tons (see the following figure). While this whale shark could easily gulp down prey larger than humans, it prefers feeding on tiny plankton. So, the biggest fish in the sea eats some of the smallest food. Bull sharks, so named because of their short, blunt snout, wide body, and aggressive temperament (and because they often head-butt their prey before eating them), are unique in that they can live in freshwater or marine environments, sometimes swimming far upstream into a river or tributary (see the following figure). Among sharks, they pose perhaps the most serious threat to humans mostly because they like to swim in the same places humans do, not because they find humans particularly tasty. Mako sharks (see the following figure) are perhaps the fastest of the species and one of the fastest fish on the planet, attaining speeds of up to 74 kilometers (45 miles) per hour, fast enough to chase down its favorite food — the speedy tuna. The hammerhead shark gets the award for being the weirdest looking with an eye on either end of its mallet-shaped head. They feed mostly on small fish, octopus, squid, and crustaceans and can grow up to six meters (20 feet) long and weigh as much as 450 kilograms (about 1,000 pounds). Depending on the species, they are either solitary or school in enormous numbers. No section on sharks would be complete without mention of the baddest shark prowling the oceans — the great white shark, which can grow up to 6 meters (20 feet) long and weigh more than 2.5 tons (see the following figure). They have a varied diet of fish, crustaceans, seals, sea lions, other sharks, and even small-toothed whales such as orcas. Where do they live? Wherever they want. But seriously, you can bump into one just about anywhere the water temperature is between 12 and 24 degrees Celsius (54 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit). Some people are terrified of sharks and won’t even take a dip in the ocean because of them, but we love sharks. I (Ashlan) am particularly fond of them for their beauty, size, power, athleticism, diversity, and for all they do to keep our oceans healthy. We really want you to love and respect them, too . . . and, if you fear them, to stop being afraid. Sharks have far more reason to fear (and hate) us humans than we have to fear them. Yes, Jaws scared the “carp” out of all of us, and to his dying day Peter Benchley (who wrote the book) felt horrible for this. He later became a huge shark activist, but the damage had been done. Generations of readers and moviegoers were scared out of their swimsuits of sharks, especially the great white, and unnecessarily so. Sharks are not vicious murderers just waiting for you to wade past the buoys or paddle your surfboard or paddleboard overhead. Certainly, some animals kill for fun — namely dolphins, house cats, killer whales, leopards, honey badgers, and, of course, humans. But the vast majority of predators, including sharks, eat only when necessary. And, like many predators, sharks carefully calculate their return on investment—whether they’ll expend more energy attacking a healthy surfer or an injured seal, for example. That’s why sharks smell for blood. They’re on the prowl for the wounded and the sick, and they can go long stretches without eating, so they can afford to be picky eaters and wait for the right opportunity to come along. Nothing personal, but you’re not the first choice on their menu. In fact, scientists believe that shark attacks happen as a case of mistaken identity. Sharks can only tell what you are with their mouth (no hands to feel ya with) which is why most attacks are a single bite and release and thus not usually fatal. The sharks quickly realize that you aren’t their normal prey and they move on. Still afraid? Then check out the following table to put your chances of dying from a shark attack in perspective. Gauging the Risk of Death from Shark Attack Cause of death Average annual deaths in the U.S. Car accident 44,757 Gun deaths 36,000 Accidental poisoning 19,456 Falling 17,229 Bike accident 762 Air/space accident 742 Excessive cold 620 Sun/heat exposure 273 Bee, wasp, hornet stings 62 Lightning 47 Train accident 24 Dog attack 16 Fireworks 11 Spider bite 7 Snake bite 5 Shark attack 1 Not only are sharks much less dangerous than many people think, they also play a vital role in maintaining a healthy ocean. As apex predators, they keep the population of their prey in check, strengthen the gene pools of their prey, and reduce the spread of disease by eating the sick, weak, and injured. Lions, tigers, bears, and other apex predators perform the same service, but they don’t get the horrible rap that sharks do (and they also attack people every once in a while, just sayin’). Sharks also protect plants and help preserve plant-based ecosystems by reducing the populations of the animals that graze on those plants. And they do their part to sequester carbon. Philippe and I swim with all types of sharks all over the world. From dozens of Great Whites off Mexico, swarms of Grey Reef Sharks in the Marshall Islands, to Whale Sharks in La Paz and huge Great Hammerheads in the Bahamas — never once have we felt scared or threatened. But we are always cautious and respectful when we’re in the water with these extraordinary predators. The ocean is their home, not ours. Unfortunately, every year, sharks are killed for their fins and their meat — about 100 million a year (but that number could actually be anywhere between 63 million and 273 million sharks killed each year). On average, that means about 11,400 sharks are slaughtered every hour, whereas four people in the whole entire world die from shark attacks per year on average. Sharks have far more to fear than we do. Batoidea: Rays Rays are a group of about 500 species that live in ocean waters worldwide. They look like a shark that has been smushed into a pancake in the outline of a kite (see the following figure). While sharks propel themselves with their tail, rays propel themselves with elongated wing-like pectoral fins. Some rays have a whip-like tail tipped with a venomous barb. A ray’s mouth is usually on the underside of its body and, when viewed from certain angles, looks as though it’s smiling. Instead of pointy teeth like sharks, rays have evolved rounded teeth they use to crush and grind their prey, mostly mollusks, crustaceans, and small fish. Another difference from sharks is that rays have their gill slits underneath their body as opposed to the sides and take in water to breathe through large openings (spiracles) on the upper surface of the head. In addition, most rays have their eyes on top of their head. Most are benthic (bottom dwelling) but some species such as the manta ray are epipelagic (free swimming). Like sharks, males have a clasper they use to mate with the female which then almost exclusively gives birth to live young. Finally, rays are almost all marine. Rays are a diverse group that includes electric rays, stingrays, manta rays, and more. In this section, we cover a few of our favorites. Electric rays have a rounded body and range in length from less than 30 centimeters (1 foot) to about 2 meters (6 feet). They’re equipped with two large electric organs positioned on either side of their head that are capable of delivering a 220-volt shock — more than sufficient for stunning prey and fending off predators. They generally feed on small fish and invertebrates, so you’re pretty safe unless you happen to step on one. The largest ray is the giant manta ray, shown in the following figure, which has a “wingspan” of up to nearly 9 meters (30 feet). They’re commonly referred to as “devil rays” because of the two special flaps at the front of their heads called cephalic lobes, but devil rays are very sweet. They feed mostly on plankton, using those devilish horns to direct more water and food into their mouths. Eagle rays have beautiful spotted skin that produce the appearance of dappled sunlight as they swim through the water. Unlike most rays, they have a very long pronounced tail and have been known to launch themselves out of the water in dramatic displays, spinning and flipping in the air. Last on our list of rays is the most unique of the group—the sawfish, also referred to as a carpenter fish. Granted, it looks more like a shark, but its mouth and gills are positioned on its underside, and it has wing-like fins characteristic of a ray. Its coolest feature is its long snout rimmed with exposed teeth. Batoidea: Skates Skates are members of the same subclass as rays, and they look like rays, but they have a few key differences. While rays are more diamond shaped, a skate’s body is more triangular or rounded, and they often have a pointy nose. Skates also have thicker, wider tails with sharp spikes that run along the middle of the tail and up their backs (no barb at the tip). Skates have small teeth to eat prey, in contrast to the rounded teeth rays use to crush and grind their food. While rays swim in both shallow and open water, skates typically hang out near the bottom and often hide in the sand. Also, instead of live births, skates lay eggs in a leathery case called a mermaid’s purse. Unfortunately, skates are struggling to survive. The International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) listed the common skate as an endangered species in 2000 and as a critically endangered species since 2006.

Article / Updated 04-20-2021

While gastropod means stomach on a foot, cephalopod means head on a foot, but with these mollusks, the pod (foot) has evolved into many prehensile arms/tentacles, which may be equipped with suction cups, hooks, or gooey mucus to catch prey and perform other functions. Yes, we’re talking octopus and squid, and their close cousins, the nautilus and cuttlefish. Most cephalopods have eight to ten arms, but some (such as the nautilus) have as many as 90. Now that’s a lot of handwashing! If you look at a bivalve and a cephalopod side by side, you’d never imagine they were in the same family. Not even close! Every cephalopod has a sophisticated brain, three hearts, good eyesight, a system of jet propulsion, prehensile arms, a sharp beak, and (in most species) an ink sac for self-defense — whereas a clam is a hunk of flesh sealed in a shell that can attach itself to rocks and sips through a straw. Most cephalopods lack the distinct shell that’s characteristic of most mollusks. One exception is the chambered nautilus, which has a well-developed shell with air-filled chambers to keep it afloat. The cuttlefish, which kinda looks like a nautilus without an external shell has an internal, elongated, saucer-shaped shell called a cuttlebone, which is often sold at pet stores as a calcium source for birds (which seems kinda wrong, btw). The squid has a long, thin, internal shell called a pen. In this article, we introduce you to the four most common members of the cephalopod family. Octopi If aliens exist on this planet, they’re octopi or octopuses (both spellings are acceptable, by the way). The octopus is regarded as one of the most intelligent creatures in the sea, and the most intelligent invertebrate on Earth thanks to its large brain. In fact, the brain-to-body ratio of the octopus is the highest of all invertebrates and greater than that of many vertebrates. It even has a group of nerves that act brain-ish for each arm, enabling the octopus to move them independently. The octopus is also a tool user and can learn and remember. (Full disclosure, they’re Philippe’s favorite animal—can you tell?) Moving on to the body, an octopus has eight arms, each of which has two rows of suckers used to capture and hold prey and to stick to smooth surfaces. The arms lead to a skirt, in the middle of which is their mouth (beak). With three hearts, they have lots of love to give. One heart pumps blood through the body, while the two small hearts pump blood to the gills. Their bodies are very malleable, allowing them to squeeze into super tight spaces — as long as their beak fits, they can make it, bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase, “If I fits, I sits.” Compared to bivalves, their sex lives are ultra-conservative. Males remain males and females remain females their entire lives. As soon as the male passes sperm to the female to fertilize her eggs, the female becomes a devoted, die-hard mother . . . literally. For example, the giant pacific momma octopus lays her eggs and attentively watches over them, keeping them clean, aerated, and protected for up to ten months, during which time she doesn’t leave and doesn’t eat. She usually dies shortly after her eggs hatch. Octopus fathers don’t fare much better — they often die after mating (talk about deadbeat dads!). An octopus will always beat you at a game of hide and seek. They’re able to change their color and texture to match their surroundings to a T. But the mimic octopus has everyone beat; it can even change its shape to impersonate other creatures such as a flounder, a lionfish, a sea snake, or even a tube worm. Hey, do you guys hire out for parties? Honestly, we could write an entire chapter or even a whole book about octopi, given how fascinating they are. Just look at how adorable the dumbo octopus is, and the mating ritual of the Argonaut Octopus is something we just can’t talk about in a book for family audiences. So much to say, but so little time. Squid Squids look a lot like octopi, but they’re different in many ways, including the following: An octopus is smarter than a squid, but squids are better swimmers. An octopus has a roundish body, rectangular pupils, and eight arms, whereas a squid has a triangular body with a fin on either side, round pupils, eight arms, and two longer tentacles (with suction cups only at the tips). The arms of an octopus are more flexible than those of a squid, enabling them to walk around and to hold and move objects. A squid has a rigid internal structure, called a pen, that runs along its mantle and provides support; an octopus does not. Octopi generally hang out on the seafloor eating crustaceans and other benthic prey, while squid prefer the open ocean, feeding on shrimp and small fish. A squid’s self-defense mechanism involves expelling a cloud of ink that serves as a smoke screen, whereas an octopus relies more on camouflage or squeezing its body into a hollow object or crevice, though in desperate situations, an octopus can ink, too. Octopi reproduce as partners and attend to their eggs for up to a year until they hatch, whereas squids mate in large groups and leave their fertilized eggs attached to rocks or corals to fend for themselves. Octopi are generally solitary, whereas squids may live alone or in groups. Squids range in size from about 16 millimeters (less than one inch, and so cute) up to 22 meters (about 72 feet, and terrifying) when stretched out. Some cool species of squid include the glass squid — almost fully transparent except for its eye balls (though its eye lids act as an invisibility cloak); the vampire squid, which can turn itself inside out to avoid predators; and the Humboldt squid, which can pulse its body with flashing red and white bioluminescence. Yowsa! Giant squid The giant squid is about eight meters (26 feet) long, but with its tentacles stretched out, it may reach 22 meters (72 feet) in length. These massive creatures live in the deep ocean, and scientists still don’t know much about them. Most of what’s known has been gathered from studying carcasses that have washed up on beaches or been brought in by fishing boats. Based on the limited information available, we know that they eat shrimp, fish, and other squids. We also know that they engage in defensive epic battles with whales and sharks (that like to eat squid), based on the fact that whales and sharks have been observed with what look like giant squid hickeys all over them. Because they live in the deep sea, giant squid have giant eyes. We’re talking BIG, as in largest in the animal kingdom — about 10 to 12 inches in diameter (the better to see you with my dear!). Researchers also think that giant squid live only about five years, meaning they must grow like weeds, and that they mate only once, so they’d better make it count. However, while the giant squid may be the longest, it may not be the largest. The colossal squid is shorter but weighs twice as much. One colossal squid on display at the Ta Papa Museum of New Zealand tips the scales at 490 kilograms (just over 1,080 pounds) while an average Giant Squid weighs in at around 275 kilograms (606 pounds). The beak of the colossal squid is the largest of all among mollusks, and their eyeballs are about the size of soccer balls. Even with their massive size, the giant and colossal squid are the preferred prey of the deep diving sperm whale. And (fun job), some scientists study the undigested beaks of these squid in sperm whale stomachs to gather additional information about the species. That would be one colossal and very smelly day at the office. Cuttlefish Cuttlefish, also known as cuttles (no, not cuddles, although they look kind of cuddly), are sort of a cross between a squid and an octopus but with a more compact body. Like an octopus, a cuttlefish has a big brain and is a master of camouflage. Like a squid, it has eight arms and two longer tentacles and its head and body are tapered, more like a torpedo. Cuttlefish are unique in that they have an undulating fringe running along their sides and a cuttlebone to help with buoyancy, which enables them to hover. Another unique feature is their pupils, shaped like a “W,” which enables them to see in front of and behind them at the same time. They tend to live in deep water during the winter and in the shallows over the summer months, and they live only one or two years, dying shortly after mating. The Giant Cuttlefish lives in the waters around Australia. These large cuttles can grow to have a mantle length of about 50 centimeters (20 inches) and weigh around nine kilograms (about 20 pounds). That’s a lot to cuddle! They come back every season to the same rocky shores of southern Australia and mate, lay eggs, and then die. When the next generation hatches, they head off into the world (not much is known about where they go or what they do), but they always return to the same area to mate, lay eggs, and perish (cue up “Circle of Life” from The Lion King). Nautilus If a snail, a shrimp, and an octopus, had a baby together, it would look like a nautilus. The nautilus has a spiraled shell like a snail, but it’s sectioned off into chambers containing air to make the nautilus buoyant, enabling it hover in the water. As the nautilus grows and expands its shell, it creates new chambers. It has a face like a shrimp and arms like an octopus — actually about 90 tentacles that are grooved and secrete mucus to capture food and hold onto stationary objects when resting. Compared to octopi and squid, the nautilus doesn’t have the greatest vision, relying more on their sense of smell to find food. They’re nocturnal (active at night), making daily migrations up and down the water column. They live much longer than the other cephalopods (up to 20 years). Unfortunately, their shells are highly prized and because they don’t reach sexually maturity until they’re 10 to 15 years old (and even when they do, females lay only about ten eggs max), their population has declined significantly and will require a long time to bounce back. And because they need a hard shell to survive, they’re also threatened by ocean acidification. Thankfully, they’re a protected species, though poaching still happens. The nautilus is considered a living fossil, because it has changed very little over the 500 million years it has been around (in some form). Today, they live in the waters of the Indo-Pacific, hovering above reefs at depths of about 100 to 300 meters (330 to 990 feet). They can’t go much deeper, because the pressure would crush their air-filled shells. Not a good way to go.

Article / Updated 04-20-2021

Bivalves are headless mollusks with a hinged, two-part shell, sort of like castanets. They’re very diverse, boasting a membership of more than 15,000 species divided into four main groups—clams, oysters, mussels, and scallops—generally based on where they live and the shape of their shells. Clams prefer an infaunal lifestyle, buried in the sand or silt, whereas mussels, oysters, and scallops live a more epifaunal lifestyle (on or above the seafloor). Regardless of whether they’re in-ground or above-ground, they have specialized gills that serve two functions — to extract food and oxygen from the water. They play a key role in cleaning the water and, fortunately, live in or near just about every body of water—oceans, lakes, ponds, rivers, and streams. Bivalves lead interesting sex lives. Clams and other burrowers tend to be dioecious, meaning they’re male or female their entire lives. Many scallop species are serial hermaphrodites, able to produce male and female gametes (sperm and eggs) their entire lives. Various oyster species are protandric hermaphrodites — males in their youth and then changing to females and staying that way as they get older (you go, girl). European oysters are rhythmical consecutive hermaphrodites, changing back and forth over the course of their lives. Clams If you’ve been to the ocean, you probably had a close encounter with a clam, although you may not have noticed, because they usually bury themselves in the sand for safety. To breathe and feed, they extend a long double-tubed siphon just above the surface of the sand that works sort of like a snorkel. One tube draws in water containing food and oxygen, and the other expels water, carbon dioxide, and wastes. Unlike oysters and scallops that move around on the seafloor at least a little, most clams restrict their movement to digging down and digging out. They use their mollusk foot less as a foot for locomotion and more as a shovel for digging. They also have two powerful adductor muscles located on opposite ends of the shell to close their home up tight when they feel threatened and to seal in the moisture in case they get stranded on shore. Most clams are filter feeders, although some supplement their diets by establishing symbiotic relationships with algae (in shallow water) or chemosynthetic bacteria (in deep water or areas that are high in sulfides). Giant clams are somewhat famous for their symbiotic relationship with algae. In fact, they’ve been referred to as “greenhouses for algae”—directing beneficial light to the mantle, where the algae hang out, but because too much light can be harmful to algae, the clam’s filter also redirects harmful light wavelengths away from the algae, making said algae feel right at home. Maybe this is why the giant clam is the largest of its kind. It can grow to be more than three and a half feet across and weigh more than 400 pounds! Oysters Oysters are awesome. You can eat them, build reefs with them, harvest their pearls to make beautiful jewelry, and even use them to clean the ocean. In fact, they’re top-of-the-line water filters! A single oyster can clean two to three gallons of water an hour, and they never get tired or break down. It’s no wonder conservationists and habitat restoration projects use oysters all over the world to quickly and naturally clean up dirty water and restore ecosystems. (Check out the “Billion Oyster Project” off NYC in the Hudson River.) Oysters are actually a subclass of saltwater clams but with irregularly shaped shells, which is how you can tell an oyster from a clam, a mussel, or a scallop. Those other bivalves have smoother shells with both halves matching pretty closely. Oyster shells are irregularly shaped and rougher. Their outer surface looks more like a bad concrete job but they can produce the most beautiful pearls on the inside. You can tell the color of a pearl before you even open the oyster by looking at its “lip”—its outer edge, because they form pearls out of the same material (nacre) they use to create their hard inner shells. These inner shells are the source of “mother of pearl,” which is used to create jewelry and adorn other objects. Mussels Mussels hang out in freshwater lakes, streams, creeks, and rivers, along with the intertidal zone, where ocean meets land. They’ve been cultivated in Europe since the 1400s for food (steamed in a white wine sauce with a side of French fries, please). In marine environments, mussels are often sessile, anchored to rocks in high-flow areas with their byssal threads, as explained in the nearby sidebar. They’re filter feeders, playing an important role in keeping the water clean. Anchors away! Some bivalves, mussels in particular, anchor themselves to a substrate using byssal threads, sort of like the material spiders use to create their sticky webs. After its juvenile stage, during which it floats around, a mussel uses its foot to attach itself to a solid surface (a rock, dock, cliff, mangrove root, oil tanker, or other solid object submerged or regularly doused with water), excretes a sticky plaque that holds it in place, then excretes a collagen-based protein from its byssal gland (in its foot). The mussel may create hundreds of these threads. It can then relax its foot, or even retract it, so it doesn’t need to waste energy trying to hold on. Young scallops can use byssal threads, too, but more conservatively, often affixing themselves temporarily to a substrate using a single byssal thread. Scallops Scallops have two fanlike shells joined by a straight hinge, which, along with the muscle inside that joins the two shells, enables them to “swim” short distances. Okay, it’s not really swimming; it’s more like a clapping motion that propels them through the water, but it gets them where they’re going. If you’ve never seen a scallop swim, head to YouTube right now and watch a clip. Scallops are also unique in that they have two rows of light-sensing organs, like eyes, arranged along either side of the scallop’s opening.

Article / Updated 04-20-2021

The largest group in the mollusk family (accounting for about 80 percent of all mollusk species), is the class Gastropoda, which literally means a stomach with a foot on it. The name strikes us as more than a little demeaning, not to mention inaccurate—after all, snails and most slugs have easily recognizable heads and a complex anatomy, including a liver, lung, heart, kidney, a primitive brain, and, yes, a stomach. In addition, they’re incredibly diverse. Gastropods are one of the few groups that have members living in all three main habitats—land, sea/ocean, and freshwater. As a group, they also have a varied diet. Depending on the species, they may be herbivores (plant eaters), scavengers, carnivores, or even internal parasites. These diverse creatures come in many sizes, some with shells and some without, but they all have a single “foot” they use mostly for locomotion. To move, they excrete mucus and contract their muscles in waves to slide over the surface of hard objects. Think of it as skating over ice that you create in front of you as you move in a certain direction. In this article, we break the family of gastropods down into two groups—snails (with external shells) and slugs (mostly without external shells). Snails Snails are gastropods that carry their homes on their backs. Many types can retract completely into their homes headfirst and seal them shut with an operculum (a thin, rigid disk attached to the foot of most snails). This door, which is a little softer than the shell, keeps predators out and moisture in, giving them a much wider travel range and enabling them to survive dry conditions. When you hear the word “snail,” you probably think of the archetypical snail with the spiral shell, but snails are far more diverse, as you’re about to discover. In the following sections, we introduce you to several different types of snails, some of which you may never have imagined being snails. Abalones Abalones, which account for about 60 to 100 gastropod species, are edible gastropods covered by a bowed shell that looks sort of like a flattened helmet with a line of holes along one side used for breathing and excreting wastes. The inside of the shell is lined with mother of pearl, which is commonly used in jewelry and to adorn other objects. Abalones also produce pearls, although they rarely receive much credit for doing so. Conches Conch is a general name that refers to medium-to-large mollusks that have a very angular shell with a wide lip. These are the shells you hold up to your ear to hear the sound of the ocean or you blow into to produce a loud sea call (which takes a lot of practice, trust us). Conches have some of the most creative names, such as queen conch (shown), dog conch, and horse conch, the latter of which is a giant predatory gastropod. When it eats something, well . . . it just looks darn nasty—like a massive tongue with no mouth or body slurping something up. Some conches can produce pearls, which are regarded as some of the rarest and most valuable pearls in the world (even though they’re not a “true pearl” but a calcareous concretion from the conch). Who knew? Cone snails Cone snails account for nearly 500 species of venomous, predatory sea snails each equipped with a harpoon containing a large collection of toxins. When its prey gets close to a cone snail, the cone snail fires its harpoon, piercing and the paralyzing (or killing) it, which it then swallows whole. Cone snails are cone shaped (of course) with a long, linear aperture (opening), as shown. Cowries Cowries have a smooth, glossy, domed shell with a long narrow opening. Their mantle has two special folds that the cowrie can wrap around the outside of the shell. These folds are covered with papillae (fleshy, hair-like projections) that may serve as camouflage or enhance respiration. Cowry shells are highly prized among shell collectors and have even been used in days long past as a form of currency. Limpets Limpets have a thick, conical shell and a strong, muscular foot. The shell is difficult for predators to grab hold of or crack, and the limpet uses its foot to draw itself tightly against rocky substrates, making it difficult to pry from the surface. Slipper limpets often live in stacks, like upside-down saucers. Where they are in the stack influences their sex. A large female is usually at the bottom with a small young male on top. When the male releases his sperm, it drops down to fertilize the female’s eggs. Limpets between the top and bottom may be male or female. Periwinkles Periwinkle is a name used loosely for all small freshwater and marine snails, but true periwinkles are marine snails that can be found in the ocean, on rocky shores, in estuaries and mud flats, and on the roots of mangrove trees. These sweet little gastropods have a small spiral shell built to withstand the constant beating on waves. They are also the favorite food of many seabirds—ducks, in particular, love them! Whelks Whelks are predatory snails that use their radula to drill through the armor of their prey (such as the shell of a mussel) to eat the soft flesh inside. They can also use their foot to take hold of a bivalve (such as a mussel or clam) and use their own shell as a wedge to pry open the shell. The whelk’s shell is similar to that of a conch.. Sea slugs and sea hares Sea slugs and sea hares are basically homeless snails. At some point in their evolution, they lost their shells, though many species have a tiny internal shell or a small external shell that barely covers their body. What’s cool, though, is that without shells to protect their soft bodies, they’ve evolved several interesting and effective self-defense mechanisms — camouflage; the ability to collect venom from what they eat and use it on their enemies; bold, bright colors to make them look venomous (regardless of whether they truly are); and the ability to detach a part of their bodies (as some reptiles do) and grow them back later. Now, if you’re thinking, “Slugs, yuck!,” you may be surprised to find out that more than 3,000 species of sea slugs called nudibranchs (which means “naked gills”) include some of the most diverse, colorful, and ornate creatures in the sea. If there were a beauty contest for marine animals, a nudibranch would probably claim the crown year after year. Some nudibranchs look like florescent hedgehogs, some look like glow-in-the-dark slugs on acid, and some look like gorgeous neon Flamenco dancers. All in all, they’re beautiful underwater gems. Seriously, we could do a whole giant coffee table book on dazzling nudibranchs. Sea hares are very similar to sea slugs, but they have large tentacles that resemble the ears of hares (rabbits), and they have wing-like structures they use for swimming. Some also squirt inky substances that look like a smoke screen but are thought to stimulate food receptors in predators, so they try to eat the substance while the sea hare makes its escape.