S. Renee Smith

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. It comes from an inner knowledge that you are competent, confident, and worthy of a good life. You gain self-esteem by understanding yourself and the value you have. With a strong sense of self-worth, you recognize that you can accomplish what you desire to do and be, that you have the ability to be successful in relationships, and that you are happy with who you are.

There’s only one way to grow from fear: You have to step into it. Attempting to avoid fear is like trying to walk through the rain without getting wet. It’s impossible. Do you recall the first time you were fearful? Was it the first day of school? Or your first speaking engagement? Did it creep up on you during your first date?

Fear is as real as courage. Although the value of fear isn’t as obvious as the value of courage, it does have its advantages. Fear is your instinct telling you that you’re uncomfortable — even if the situation will not cause you harm. Everyone has had that feeling when you would rather pull the covers over your head than face that one event of the day.

Like everyone, you have a self-concept, a sense of who you are. It’s the perception you hold in your mind about yourself, how you feel about yourself, and the opinions you hold regarding what you can attain in life and how well you can manage everyday demands. The dictionary says that “self” means “one’s own person” and that “esteem” means “having high regard, respect, admiration.

Everyone’s self-esteem has been shaken by one experience or another. Unfortunately, you can’t just wake up one morning to find that your sense of self-worth has skyrocketed overnight. You have to work on yourself daily so that having healthy self-esteem becomes natural and comfortable. By understanding where your sense of self-regard is already healthy and where it needs some improvement, you’ll be much better able to focus on the areas that need work.

The core beliefs that formed your sense of self-worth as a child are just that — beliefs. They’re not necessarily true or accurate. They’re only your opinions. As opinions, they can be changed.Healthy self-esteem and low self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. They both activate certain rules for living that either help you or hurt you.

Bullying in schools continues to be a hot topic. But why? Why would a child feel good about tormenting another child? Why is social media being used to embarrass, harass, and belittle others? Why are inappropriate texts and photos being shared? Why is violence a huge issue in schools? The root cause of anyone demeaning another is low self-esteem.

By brightening your personality, you open the natural flow of desirable qualities that will make you more appreciative of yourself and more appealing to other people. Here are several ways to enhance your personality: Create happiness within yourself. Have an optimistic and upbeat frame of mind. Be warm and inviting to others.

Let's get positive, people! Saying and thinking affirmations often is one of the most valuable ways to change your self-talk. If you say uplifting things to yourself that help you reach your goals and reflect the sense of self-worth that you’re developing, you’ll head in a new and healthier direction.Following are some tips for writing your own affirmations: Choose a negative thought and write its positive opposite.